


death of you (and me)

by duaa



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anger, Canon Compliant but not gonna happen soo, Dark side Logan, Gen, Orange Side Logan, i mean lk this is how the sides act in the series so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24524578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: Everything's changed, it's all gone - and Thomas is to blame.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 103





	death of you (and me)

"Hey, Patton?" Patton cocks his head, a questioning smile adorning his face. Thomas hesitates for a moment, weighing his words carefully. 

"So, this might kinda out of the blue, but, do you ever..." He pauses. "It's like, let's say you have a chair, right? And you sit in it everyday. But one day, out of nowhere, when you get up, it squeaks. And then you investigate, and it's clear that it's not _your_ chair. But you always forget. Except -"

"- ever time you get up and it squeaks, you remember again. That's not your chair. That's someone else. I mean, another chair."

Thomas gapes at Patton, relieved. "I... I get it, Thomas, I really do. I just... I can see where we went wrong."

"Yeah."

Sometimes, things change right in front of your eyes. Sometimes, your 'chair' is gone. Sometimes, things change and no one says a word, hesitant glances and pauses when they talk. This time, he was gone. Some one else stood in his place, eyes seething with something Thomas had never seen before, stance wide and threatening, bared teeth and exposed neck. Head held high. High _er_. 

"We can't keep beating around the bush, Thomas, it's just..."

"I know, Pat. I think we should all talk." And so everyone was summoned. Everyone except him. And Thomas swallows, painfully aware of how they left him out again - justified or not, it still happened. So he pushes that thought down, just like they all pushed him down. 

Yikes. 

"Guys, I..." He reconsiders his words. "We messed up."

"No shit."

"Big time."

Amongst the general murmurs of agreement, Remus' voice cuts through with the sharp clarity it rarely possesses. "No, _you_ all messed up. Me and D were only here for videos." 

"I don't think my impersonation helped." Janus admits. 

Thomas rubs a hand over his face. It's true, it isn't their fault. They barely saw him, barely knew him. Thomas... they were supposed to be best friends, Thomas promised. He promised and then broke that promise and it was all his fault. "No, I - Remus, you're right. Janus, it isn't your fault either, you impersonated Patton and we all reacted better that time. This, this is on us, guys." He looks at Virgil and Roman, bashful gazes. They fucked up. 

"We need to fix this." 

The air shifts, and _he_ rises up. Lo... Logic. Steely eyes piercing through him, and Thomas can't help but compare how those eyes have regarded him over the years. Fondness, pride, affection; all gone, replaced with the tired, weary look Logan always bore - slowly transforming into the cold rage he saw now. Patton heaves a shuddering sigh, Roman's eyes dart around uncomfortably. Logic's gaze is unwavering. Virgil just shrinks back into himself. So does Thomas, shame crawling up his back and resting heavily on his shoulders. 

"Hi!" Remus cheerfully calls out, rubbing further salt in Thomas' wounds. Logic just glances at him, gaze devoid of the hostility he bore towards the others. Janus respectfully keeps his distance, brow furrowed. 

"Hey buddy, how are you?" Nothing moves. His eyelids don't close, his chest doesn't fall and rise. "Um..." 

He flounders, but Patton steps in, fingers twisting the paws of his cat hoodie. "We just wanted to apologise." 

He blinks once. There's no surprise in his eyes, and Thomas knows he blinked out of necessity. His hand moves to nudge his glasses back into place, finger poking apathetically. He blinks again, inclining his head in a way that just lifted his chin higher. 

Everything he does is so... cold and full of calculated anger, Thomas is surprised that tears don't spring to his eyes immediately. He can see Virgil is breaking, gulping visibly. Roman looks at the floor, eyes stuck on the carpet. Logic is still staring at Thomas, and he can't help but wonder how they didn't notice. They didn't notice when his logo was gone, when his outbursts were gone, when he let Thomas blunder along unrestrained. They didn't notice that one day, Logan was just... _gone_. Replaced by a side with seething orange eyes, claiming he'll fit the role of 'Logic', tie hanging lose around his neck. 

~~Sometimes, whenever Thomas was painfully traipsing into his own doom, Logic would hold his tie, miming tightening a noose. Remus loved it. Virgil had screwed his eyes shut, face scrunched up every time he did it. Thomas could do nothing but hold his gaze, heart sinking.~~

"Um, we should have listened to you, to Logan, and I know that our words don't mean all that much and its the actions that -"

"Thomas. You made engagements with Joan. You were supposed to leave ten minutes ago." Patton falters, and panic courses through Thomas, hot and searing. Shitshitshitshitshit - 

"THOMAS!" Virgil's mouth hangs open, eyes feral - and Thomas knows he's supposed to rush out of the house, scrambling - but he can't. 

He can't because he messed up. Again. 

"Oh my God, Logic, I am so, so sorry, I -" 

"I told you," His voice rises, a slow growth from his usual monotone, "to set an alarm. I told you to leave a reminder." Waves are crashing at the rocks and Thomas knows he's just stepped onto the sandcastle he just destroyed. He's burning bridges he just reduced to ash, and god, he's so ashamed. He was so determined to do things right this time, and he failed before he even started. Why didn't he just listen? It wasn't like he was being unreasonable ~~like Logic of all things would ever be unreasonable, like Logan of all things would ever ~~.~~~~

"I told you." It's louder now. "But you don't _fucking_ listen to me, do you!?" Virgil is scrambling back, falling into Roman. He sets his hand on Roman's katana, and Thomas knows that even though Logic doesn't look away, he saw that. "You don't ever listen." 

"I, we're sorry kiddo, it's -" 

"What is wrong with you? 'Its the actions that matter'? You made that plenty clear." 

"Logan -" He's gone. He's gone and Thomas sits in his chair, only remembering when it squeaks.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if you see a typo!  
> hope you like it ❤️💕


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